Monday, April 26, 2010

I Think He's Playing Red Eyed Fly Tonight

There's nothing sadder than an unsuave robot.
This poor sap was crafted to aid the hearing-impaired in speech therapy, but that altruistic goal will likely be eclipsed by its intrinsic creepiness. How can anyone be tutored by a device with such extreme N.T.P. (night terror potential)?

Tuesday, April 13, 2010


"Brenner and the dolphin met in the 1970s at a Sarasota County amusement park, and he calls their underwater love affair 'passionate.'"

"The thing I learned the hard way is that dolphins can develop very, very deep emotional bonds to you -- bonds that are so strong, we don't understand how they work," Brenner said.

So now just anyone who got drunk and fucked a dolphin at Sea World in the 1970s can write a book? That screeching sound you hear is half the population of Deltona, Florida speeding to an Internet cafe.

However, this being Florida, I'm a little disappointed no one contacted an animal psychic to see what the dolphin had to say from beyond the grave.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Mom! I Want My Giggle Hat!

That kid is so high.

The snork-inspired device is called PediSedate, and it lulls wee ones into a peaceful, drugged-out, python-riddled, hallucinatory state prior to medical procedures by pumping nitrous oxide near their noses while they play video games. And yeah, I want one. Gimmie that giggle hat!

From PediSedate's website:
"PediSedate is a medical device consisting of a colorful, toy-like headset that connects to a game component such as the Nintendo Game Boy system or a portable CD player. Once the child places it on his or her head and swings the snorkel down from its resting place atop the head, PediSedate transparently monitors respiratory function and distributes nitrous oxide, an anesthetic gas. The child comfortably becomes sedated while playing with a Nintendo Game Boy system or listening to music. This dramatically improves the hospital or dental experience for the child, parents and healthcare providers."

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Crazy From the Meat

Mark your calendars and write up your wills, this thing apparently passed market testing.

I think if Jesus were still alive today, he'd definitely be into this.