Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Play 'Free Bird'!

French artist and musician CĂ©leste Boursier-Mougenot introduced electric guitars into an aviary.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

This Week in Florida

Trailer park arson, pig uprisings, and "getting razor burn in Key West" is no longer a euphemism. They don't call it Darwin's Waiting Room for nothing.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Dude, Where's My Pants?

The New York Times just ran an article on the Sensecam. It's a little black box worn around the neck to assist Alzheimer's patients. The theory is that the camera/accelerator combo will make a sort of flip book of experiences -- one that can be accessed later, jogging the memory.

They also mention future marketing targeted at the "YouTube generation," whose memories are just lazily clouded by booze and barbiturates.

Can we not do this?

In addition to making everyone look like Toshiro Takashi from Revenge of the Nerds, I believe blackouts happen for a reason. If we had to see how stupid we all act while drinking, everyone would quit doing it. Bars would close, people would stop getting laid, tattoos of leprechauns dancing around tribal signs would cease to exist, and we'd all have to develop real personalities. This little black box could ruin civilization as we know it.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Get ya broke ass out the club if you ain't gon' tip

What up, J.Cam? I know you got epicly later'd at the Oscars, but you're being pretty cool about the best picture and director award going to your ex-wife's movie about a real war.

John Hughes tribute: OK. Seeing the cast of The Breakfast Club 25 years later: No. James Spader? Andrew McCarthy? Someone.

Can this be the last year for the Oscars? Seriously, that shit took like three days. Most of it was blatant shit-being-called-a-sundae-ism. Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin did the Dean/Jerry thing well enough, but their joke time was eaten up by James Taylor's weird death montage ballad and interpretive hip-hop dancing. Just let this guy host next year.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Something You'll Never See at Beauty Bar

Imagine if Lego synth guy and large-scale Lego sculpture dude ever got together...

You could start a dance party on a replica of Han Solo frozen in carbonite. Let the panty-dampening, begin!

So Like Lexicon

SBoonin’: Waking up disoriented with your arm around an empty bottle of Boone’s Farm.

Rolodix: Your cell phone booty call list.

Green-up: A post-sbender period in which a body demands traditionally “healthy” food, but will settle for fried if no vegetables are available.

Fire Fly-by-Nights: Hallucinogenic night terrors that follow an excessive intake of sweet tea vodka.
Whhyyyyy isn't there a show like Soul Train anymore?

Monday, March 1, 2010

It’s the Culmination of Your Life’s Events, in Tube-Form.

Those smug Swedes.
They've been hoarding squeezable bacon technology for years, but now, thanks to ThinkGeek, it's been liberated. Now you can purchase tubed bacon and have it shipped directly to your big, sweaty, knuckle-popped American paws to use as you see fit. (Toothpaste? Sexy-time prop? Edible mustache? Bacon flan?)

Stranger still, this bacon/gel hybrid allegedly has no preservatives, due to some hastily glossed over "freezing technology." Lie to me, bacon. You know I'll always forgive you.