The Last Supper

Local radio superheroes of The Mascot Wedding Show alerted the world to a grave food injustice yesterday. It's a crime against good taste, self respect, and the sandwich status quo. Your health insurance plan is probably rewriting its policy now, and adding a pre existing condition clause for those who have consumed one.
It's the Double Down from KFC, and if this commercial is any indication, the hormones in the chicken will make grown men's voices sound like characters from the Little Rascals. As disturbing as this fried felony is, we at So Like Yeah are more concerned about the safety issues that accompany eating two fried chicken patties filled with melted cheese, drippy bacon, and Colonel Sauce.

This "sandwich" will never, ever, be taken all the way back to a person's house, placed on a piece of china, and slowly sawed into with a fork and knife. Instead it will be gnawed at while in traffic by 100% of its purchasers, one of whom will inevitably run into you at a red light while steering with his knees. Your spirit will be floating above the crime scene as he paws away the grease waterfall cascading down his chin and fumbles to dial 911 with his massive, chicken-dipped phalanges. You always suspected it might end this way.

It doesn't have to. If KFC would adopt our idea -- The KFC Feedbag (copyright pending) -- highways would be safer for everyone, gluttons included. The device would hook over the ears and rest gently under the chin, allowing you -- the safe driver -- to keep your hands on the wheel AND your mouth in the meal. It'll be like BlueTooth for food.