Squeegee My Third Eye

Remember that guy in college who took a lot of speed and never shut up about the Illuminati? He has a website now, and besides seeing occult symbols in places like the Denver airport and Pinocchio, it also takes on pop stars and their hidden agendas.

Did you know Lil Wayne's new video was directed by Satan? Or that Lady Gaga is a sleeper assassin? Obvs she's hiding more than just a potential disco stick under that Hello Kitty pile-up.

Jay-Z as a Mason, though, is something I can get with. He would make it cool to be a Mason again, and soon there will be a mass exodus of celebrities to secret temples, from which TMZ will do live broadcasts.