I was batting an idea around the So Like Yeah Estroplex a few days ago: a Snuggie-type thing that's also an electric blanket but that didn't have to be plugged in and was tailored enough that it wouldn't knock over a bunch of candles with its "Stand Back"-era Stevie Nicks sleeves. How would it be powered? Kinetic energy? Of course not. If you're wearing a Snuggie you ain't doin' shit! That's as far as that got. Yes, we only write by candlelight at the 'plex.
Then I saw the commercial for Forever Lazy, which turns adults into giant babies. Giant, freezing babies who can only be consoled with beer and TV. I was almost on board. Until around the 1:15 mark.
People. We have to draw the line at "zippered hatches" or the terrorists have won.
(Here's a plus, though: Searching for that Stevie Nicks video led me into a Fleetwood Mac rabbit hole, and I found this gem)