It’s been six years since Earth’s most famous robots unfolded themselves from their pod and rolled out on Mars. We started each morning with Spirit and Opportunity, giddy with anticipation of new discoveries as updates piped through the radio, interwebs, and newspapers. Dorky NASA scientists blasted inspirational songs like “Wheels in the Sky Keep on Turnin’” to cheer them on to victory.
Now our longest serving astronauts have fallen to the wayside. As hope for liquid water evaporated, so did funding and enthusiasm. Now Spirit is stranded in a sulfate sinkhole; if he cannot free himself from these elemental shackles soon, his long-distance handlers will be forced to cut the circuit-laden umbilical cord. Spirit will then retire in Troy, his Martian tomb, while his brother, Opportunity, weeps oily tears.
What Spirit needs is some motivation. We need to bring back the morning anthems -- and who better to do it than Captured! By Robots? Currently energizing the masses, both hardwired and au natural, Jbot and his soldered soldiers would be the perfect band to get our rickety rover out of his death pit. NASA, I hope you’re listening and sending this message up to the heavens.
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